


Make the Clock Reverse

by UnspokenWords



Series: UnspokenWords Keithtober 2019 [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Just angst, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keithtober, Keithtober 2019, Mourning, No Fluff, dealing with death, keith likes hippos, mention of keith at his father's grave, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 03:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20941574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnspokenWords/pseuds/UnspokenWords
Summary: The memory machine isn’t supposed to be used for this. The memory machine is supposed to be used for battles. Pidge, Coran, and Hunk made it so the team could study their battles. Using the machine to recreate his father isn’t what it’s meant for at all. But Keith is going to do it anyway.He has to. He has no choice.Keith needs to see his dad again.





	Make the Clock Reverse

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I wrote this for Keithtober 2019, Day 4: Past. I had a hard time coming up with this one because a lot of my ideas were more Klance-centric than Keith-centric, but this turned out kind of well. And yes. I know it's late. Leave me alone.

Keith knows he shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t sneak into the memory room at night. He most certainly shouldn’t be running the machine by himself. But he has to. He has no choice.

Keith needs to see his dad again.

The memory machine isn’t supposed to be used for this. The memory machine is supposed to be used for battles. Pidge, Coran, and Hunk made it so the team could study their battles. It records memories and recreates them as an environment you can walk around in. This way, the team could see their previous mistakes and study the opponent fought. It also gave them a second chance to assess the environment they were in, in case they missed anything.

Using the machine to recreate his father isn’t what it’s meant for at all. But Keith is going to do it anyway.

Keith goes to the machine and puts the headgear on, the one that’s meant to record the memories. He then turns on the machine using the switch. It starts up.

Keith starts trying to remember. Trying to remember his dad, talking to him when he was little, trying to remember his dad taking him to school, trying to remember the time his dad gave him his stuffed hippo.

And then he remembers his dad’s funeral.

Keith stops the recorder in an instant. Maybe it wouldn’t try to show him that. Hopefully, it doesn’t. He doesn’t want to see that again.

Keith puts on the headset for exploring the environment. He turns it on.

Keith sees his dad. He sees his dad and himself as a kid. He sees his dad talking to him, telling him why his mother is gone. Telling him that he doesn’t know if she’s alive anymore.

Keith sees his dad. He sees himself as a kid running up to his dad and telling him about these animals they learned in school. He hears himself mispronouncing ‘hippopotamus’. He hears his dad correcting him. He sees them smiling.

He wishes he could talk to his dad, wishes this machine was like the AI hologram of King Alfor. He still misses his dad. It’s been years, but he knows now that his mom is out there and he misses him. He wonders what it would have been like if he was still alive, if she could meet him again.

Keith sees his dad. He sees his dad dropping him off at school with a school lunch bag. Keith was a picky eater as a kid. He’s not anymore. But his dad was so nice, he used to give Keith anything he wanted to eat. The foster homes didn’t do that.

Keith sees his dad. He sees his dad surprise him with a hippopotamus plushie. He sees himself as a kid hugging it so tightly. Keith wishes he had brought it with him into space. His dad had told Keith that the hippopotamus told him that his name was Hippy. Keith called him Hippy from then on. He was always waiting for Hippy to talk to him. He never did.

Keith sees his dad’s grave. He had hoped the machine wouldn’t show him this. But he sees himself, standing over his dad’s grave. He has flowers in his hand. He’s crying. Child Keith is crying.

Adult Keith is crying too.

Child Keith is screaming at the grave, tears streaming down his face, asking his father why he left him. He’s angry. He hates his father, he hates him, his father said he would always be around and he left him to save someone in a stupid fire. He didn’t even think about what could happen to him. What would happen to Keith if he died. Child Keith is crumbling to the ground in front of the grave, sobbing, asking his father if he even really loved him. Because if he did love him, why did he leave him? Child Keith is throwing the flowers to the ground. Child Keith lays atop the grave.

And Keith, present Keith, adult Keith has to stand there and watch. He wants to leave, but he finds that he can’t. He wants to help himself. He wants to tell his younger self that his dad did love him, that he didn’t want to leave, that he understands now. Adult Keith understands the decision his father made, even if he still resents him. He wants to hold his younger self and hug him and tell him that he’ll find a new family with Shiro. That he’ll find a brother, someone who will take care of him. He wants to tell Keith that his brother is out there and that he’ll find a family in the future, with Voltron. He wants to tell his younger self that everything will be alright.

But he can’t do anything. He just had to watch himself suffer.

The memory ends. Keith takes off the headset.

Keith is crying.

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, I know this is sad. I was going to make it go through a lot more memories, but I just wanted him to only have to go through one. He doesn't deserve this sadness. But I'm sorry.
> 
> Please comment your thoughts or complaints below, or find me at any of these links.
> 
> Twitter: [@_keithtrash_](https://twitter.com/_keithtrash_)
> 
> Tumblr: [Tumblr](https://unspoken-words-ao3.tumblr.com/)


End file.
